The Search for Mystery: Part III: Showdown in the Phantom Fjords!

A call to adventure, dear Readers! Only hours ago, the RMS Lusitania and Gentleman Jesper's pirate clipper pulled ashore along the banks of the Phantom Fjords of Norway. We disembarked and my intrepid team of travellers, riding atop majestic Norwegian fjord horses, followed Gentlemen Jesper and his crew into the bowels of a steamy, dank and dark cavern.


The vast pirate booty that lay inside could have given Queen Victoria's Crown Jewels a run for their moneys! But, alas, it was plain to anyone with a full frontal lobe that this treasure had been picked through and pilfered by a character of great size, strength and hairy-ness. The culprit could be none other than my sought after prize: The Norwegian Man-Beast!


In the midst of my excitement, I could feel the ol' Fudgington gears spinning and twirling inside my cranium. A plan was being devised! Despite the protests of the ill-tempered Gentleman Jesper, I decided to take the Man-Beast alive. This would plan would necessitate a trap!


And not just any trap, my little Fudgingites . . . a mechanized marvel to rival any creation of one Mr. Rube Goldberg himself! Using parts and pieces scrounged out of the many articles found in Gentlemen Jespers swashbuckling of modern ocean liners, my trap operated thusly:


Marv L. (the Mechanical Man) begins the operation by turning a large crank (a). This crank sets in motion a series of gears (b). As these gears turn, they cause a lever (c) to be pulled back. Attached to the business end of the lever is road sign (d) which comes in contact with one of Seamus' boots (e). When this boot is struck by the road sign, it knocks over a bucket (f). The bucket spills its contents (a cannonball (g)) down a flight of stairs (h) and into a winding length of pipe (i). This pipe terminates at the anterior of a long rod (j) where it is struck by the cannonball. At the posterior of said rod, lies a stuffed driving glove (k) which pushes a bowling ball (m) down a plank (n). At the far end of this plank, there is hole (o) which the bowling ball falls through into a claw-footed bathing tub (p). The imbalance of weight induced by the bowling ball causes the tub to shift slightly and the bowling ball passes through yet another hole where the tubs drain (q) would be. Then, the bowling ball plummets several feet onto a See-Saw (aka Teeter-Totter) (r). Stationed at the other end of this See-Saw (aka Teeter-Totter) is our very own Contessa Bianca Belladonna (s) decked out in full diving regalia that would make Busby Berkeley pause and have a look-see. The Contessa is then vaulted into a large wine making barrel (t). This added force sends a shock wave up a tall post (u) which springs a large, bell-shaped diving cage (v). This cage falls into place over the bait (w) (a wheel of Jarlsberg, the preferred snack of the Norwegian Man-Beast) and hopefully the Man-Beast himself (x, y & z)!


Now, if my calculations are correct, success should be in hand simply by following the Fudgington Theorem: a²+b²+c²+d²+e²+f²+g²+h²+i²+j²+k²+l²+m²+n²+o²+p²+q²+r²+s²+t²+u²+v²+w²+x²+y²+z²+=VICTORY²!


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